Wednesday, July 30, 2014

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Summertime sadness

I'm not talking about Lana Del Rey's song (I like the remix more than the original), but my own sadness. It happens every year during this time. People get the winter blues but I'm the opposite, the dreadful heat makes me depressed. Don't get me wrong, I would pick a sunny day over a dreary cloudy day, but being out in the sun during the summer is unbearable. The heat is such a deterrent to go outside or anywhere for that matter. And being cooped up indoors makes me crazy.

So I constantly daydream about moving. During my downtime I would browse realtor.com and trulia.com for homes on sale. I look at my favorite cities... San Diego, Portland and Denver. I compare school ratings in the neighborhoods listed. I look for job openings in those cities. But in the end, I convince myself that it's never going to happen and I should stop wasting my time. It's just so comfortable here. Steady job. Family is here. Friends already established. Familiarity.


But then again, I don't want to be content. I want to experience new things. To venture into the unknown. So what's holding us back? Why not stop dreaming and make it a reality? Okay, if I'm truly serious about doing this, I need to really think of the pros and cons before making such a major life changing decision. All with the approval of the family, of course.

Why moving would be awesome
  • Better weather:  No more nasty humidity. No more sweating in work attire. No more getting caught in torrential downpours. No crazy ice storms. Ability to enjoy sitting outside in the backyard.
  • (San Diego) Great weather. All of the above but year-round!
  • (Portland) Closer to outdoor activities: Forest Park with its endless trails of running and biking. Mt. Hood, (only a short drive away) for snowboarding.
  • Avoid traffic:  This is dependent on where we would be going but anything has to be better than Houston. Here, people are always in a rush. Super aggressive. If I'm not tailgating the car in front of me (who's already going 10 mph over the speed limit), some asshole will find a way to squeeze in between us. I want to live in a place that has easy public transportation. I hate driving and parking in congested areas. 
  • (Portland) Ability to bike:  I can bike to work or the store without fear of getting run over by a car.  


Why moving would suck
  • Away from family:  No more free babysitting for those weekends when you just need a break. No more gatherings during the holidays and special occasions. The kids will be without their cousins.
  • Making new friends:  It's going to be tough to make new friends. 
  • Sacrifice a good job:  I would give up making my own schedule (no weekends), no long hours (on average I work about 6 hours/day), low stress, no boss breathing down my neck (I don't even know what he looks like!) and decent pay for the amount of work I do.
  • Moving the kids:  The boys would be "the new kids", well Jacob and Andrew. They would have to adapt to their new school and environment, which could be tough. I would feel guilty if they had a hard time adjusting.
  • Spend more money:  Everything is cheaper in Texas. Gas. Food. No state income tax.
  • No baby #4:  That slim 5% chance of having a baby will turn into 0%. There's absolutely no way we have another without the support around us.
  • Starting over:  New friends, new job, new house, new schools, new everything... but isn't that part of the appeal of moving?


I'll probably update this page as I think of more reasons to go or stay. And if you're reading this... any advice would be helpful. What should we do??

6 Reactions to this post

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  1. Edwin and Lilly said... August 4, 2014 at 10:36 PM

    I totally feel your pain. But since then, we've traded the hot summer-blues for Boston blizzard winter-blues. We're not sure yet which is worst. :) Maybe we should all just move to the west coast.

    As for your pros and cons list of moving, I totally feel your pain! Too bad there's a huge trade-off to everything in life. And yeah, I do agree, being away from family/free-babysitting is definitely a huge CON of being far away.

    Ummm, here's a far-fetch solution: Convince the entire family/relatives/grandparents/friends to move along WITH you guys! (We haven't had too much success with this one. Maybe you guys will.)

    Sorry, I wish I could be more help. Not sure if this convinces you either way. :)

    Or, just go on lots of vacation/traveling....like you have. Best of both worlds.

  2. Click, Click, Caption This.... said... August 5, 2014 at 11:39 AM

    Daydreams are the best things in life...

    But flip a coin...Destiny changer or stay...

    (Never listen to my advice)

  3. JT said... August 5, 2014 at 3:34 PM

    That's the plan, to slowly move everyone with me. I've been planting the seeds everywhere, the idea of moving.

    Haha when you say "destiny changer", I immediately think of stacks. Remember this?
    http://youtu.be/hbWh2UhY8Hk

  4. tram said... August 9, 2014 at 2:51 PM

    J - wanted to write back to you much sooner....this is such a tough decision. Here are my rambling thoughts....

    About moving in general:
    * I personally like living in different places and experiencing the unknown so I am an advocate for moving to new places and starting over. This is coming from a girl that lived in a remote Romanian village for 2 years and brought back 2 wonderful kids. Look at David...he went to Vietnam and now has found love :) Destiny changer, for sure.
    * We , Jon in West Texas, David in Vietnam.....yet we are all still connected through these blogs and facebook.etc....
    * I think all of us listed above know we can move back to Texas so nothing is permanent.
    * As for kids, I think they will all adjust and I also personally think it's a good thing for them to experience living in different places. It will carry with them as adults...learning to adjust to new environments. Besides, it's cool to be the new kid in class! Girls will notice your boys! You can start a tradition by send the kids to spend time with Grandparents/family during the summer time. It's a win/win.
    * Whenever I hear of family members or friends moving to a new city, I am filled with envy...like now, I am so envious of Phi moving to Portland. In my dream world, I would live in a new city every 5 years....

    About moving to SD specifically:
    * I am always reluctant to push family to move to SD because I would feel so guilty if you came here and you are not happy...you find out it is not what you'd expected. I dreamed of Lisa moving here, but never pushed her. So her move to SD was a HUGE surprise for me. The difference I see between you and Lisa is that you seemed 100% ready to go so the move for you would be less emotional. Lisa loves Austin so there was an adjustment period for her.
    * SD does have great weather....in fact, today is glorificent. However, to set your expectations...the world is definitely changing. I heard on the news that this is the hottest summer on record...2 weeks ago I felt the humidity on my neck and was so irritable and annoyed with everyone around me (this must be summertime sadness). But in general, it does have fine weather year round....some complain that it sucks not to experience the seasons...that is when you can go visit Lilly.
    * Since Lisa and I are here....you can rely on us for free baby-sitting...would love to do it.
    * The ONLY downside to SD is the housing market. Rent is high for ridiculously small and run-down homes. That part will depress you....going from your big house in Pearland to some crappy homes. Affordable housing are possible to find, but it will be in the suburbs away from the fun places. On the flip side, SD is smaller than Houston, so everything is roughly 20-30 minutes away.
    * Many beach choices up and down the coast...will take you only 15-20 minutes to get there....can go almost year-round.
    * Closest ski resort is 1 hour away (Big Bear)....can go for the day and drive home.
    * Your parents can come here to visit...take them to Little Saigon in Anaheim.
    * Would LOVE it if you guys come, we would do everything we can to make it worth it for you....but again, I don't want to push for the reason in bullet #1.

    LOVE you guys and let me know if you have any questions about SD specifically. I did not proof read so excuse any misspellings and grammar mistakes...

  5. JT said... August 10, 2014 at 10:19 AM

    I feel the same way. My main concern is if I were to move the family, I don't want to live with the guilt if they were unhappy. I'm okay with ruining my own life, not others. So if we did move, I'll have a contingency plan in place. If it sucks after two years, we'll move back to Texas (or elsewhere).

    Realistically, SD is out of my league. Unless a large amount of cash lands on my front door, I probably can't move there in the near future. But ultimately that's where I want to end up. Maybe after all the kids are away in college?

    I think this nasty heat has clouded my head so if I still feel this way during the fall/winter, cooler weather during the holidays with friends and family around... then it's time to go.

  6. PB said... August 13, 2014 at 7:03 PM

    Hi Jimmy!

    I just saw this through Chi Lilly's post and wanted to say: PLEASE MOVE TO PORTLAND!!!! :)

    JK, I know the actual decision is a lot harder to make in reality. I agree wholeheartedly with everything Chi Lilly & Chi Tram said. I completely also feel your pain. It's such a difficult decision to make, especially when you have such a great job, large network of friends and supportive family nearby in Texas.

    We've moved here for a few weeks here and we absolutely love the city! The food, the kid-friendly places, the hiking, the pedestrian-friendliness, and the public transportation is amazing. Granted, it will take time to establish new friendships and a sense of community (the hardest part). It's also a great place to take old friends around when they come up to visit! :)

    Please msg me if you or Lynn have any questions about Portland! It's a great city rain or shine, but it will be even greater if we had family nearby ;)

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